top of page
Writer's pictureAlexander James

Understanding the Self in IFS Therapy: A Journey Towards Self-Leadership

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, is a transformative approach that views the mind as an internal family of sub-personalities or parts.


Each part plays a role in our emotional landscape, often rooted in experiences from our past. At the core of IFS lies the concept of the Self, which serves as the guiding force in achieving emotional health and self-leadership.


The Role of the Self in IFS Therapy


At its heart, the Self embodies our true essence. It is characterized by qualities known as the 8 C’s:


  • Curiosity

  • Calm

  • Clarity

  • Connectedness

  • Confidence

  • Courage

  • Creativity

  • Compassion


In IFS therapy, the Self is viewed as the leader of our internal system. When individuals are more self-led, they experience greater emotional balance and well-being. Conversely, when protective parts dominate, they can lead to turmoil and disconnection.


The primary goal of IFS therapy is to foster a stronger connection with the Self, enabling individuals to be less controlled by their protective parts.


This process begins with recognising and understanding the various parts that exist within us. These parts may include:


Exiles: Vulnerable aspects holding painful memories and feelings.


Managers: Parts that strive to maintain control and prevent negative experiences.


Firefighters: Reactive parts aimed at extinguishing emotional pain, often through impulsive behaviours.


Becoming More Self-Led


The intention of IFS therapy is to encourage individuals to become more self-led, which involves:


  1. Listening to Your Parts: Acknowledging and understanding the different voices within you is the first step. This requires patience and a willingness to explore your inner landscape without judgment.

  2. Creating a Connection: Building a relationship with your parts allows for communication and understanding. When you engage your protective parts with compassion, you begin to create a safe space for them to express their fears and concerns.

  3. Cultivating Self-Leadership: As your connection with the Self strengthens, you gain the ability to lead your internal family with clarity and trust. This means making decisions aligned with your values rather than reacting impulsively to the demands of your protective parts.

  4. Healing the Exiles: Within the framework of IFS therapy, healing occurs when the Self can engage with exiled parts, offering them the compassion and understanding they need. This does not mean eliminating these parts but rather integrating them into the larger system as part of your wholeness.

  5. Integration and Harmony: The ultimate goal of IFS therapy is to ensure that all parts coexist harmoniously under the guidance of the Self. This integration fosters resilience and emotional well-being, allowing individuals to respond to life's challenges with greater flexibility and strength.



The Self in Internal Family Systems therapy serves as the bedrock for achieving emotional health and self-leadership. By embarking on the journey to understand and nurture your inner family, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling existence.


IFS therapy empowers you not to be ruled by your protective parts but to lean into the wisdom and strength of the Self. As you cultivate this self-leadership, you'll discover a path to healing and personal growth that resonates with your true essence. Embrace the journey of IFS therapy and step into a more authentic, self-led life!

If you are interested in learning more about IFS Therapy in Harley Street London, please get in touch today.

22 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page