When you are in the midst of a busy or challenging phase in your life, it can sometimes seem easier to cope by pushing away or compartmentalising your emotions. This might work as a sticking plaster solution in the short-term, but in the long-term it can be damaging for both your mental and physical health.
Here’s a look at the dangers of burying your feelings, and some tips to process difficult emotions. Gaining some insight into your inner mental state will ultimately help you become a more resilient and successful person.
If you would like some more personalised advice, you may wish to consider exploring your issues with Internal Family Systems therapy, which is designed to help unravel complex emotional states and move towards inner healing and harmony.
Mental toughness Vs. resilience
When faced with life’s challenges, we may have been told when we were growing up that we need to ‘toughen up.’ Some people may use this as a mantra to drive themselves on, especially high-achievers who are expected to remain calm under pressure and deal with whatever is thrown at them. However, this approach is unsustainable in the long-run.
According to an article in Psychology Today, suppressing your true feelings is counterproductive, because you are building up a pressure cooker of unprocessed emotions. This psychological pressure can manifest itself in unpredictable and unhelpful ways. To take the metaphor one step further, the lid may even blow off in an uncontrollable outburst.
This can be a toxic or even dangerous situation, for both yourself and those around you. If the lid is kept tightly shut, the negative emotions that have no outlet will simmer under the surface, and you will have less headspace to process more positive or neutral emotions.
This means that it is more difficult to deal with life’s inevitable irritations and setbacks, and you may be easily overwhelmed, or your reactions to a triggering situation may be disproportionate. If this state is allowed to continue indefinitely, it may result in a complex mental health condition such as depression or anxiety.
Furthermore, a constant state of emotion suppression can manifest in physical symptoms such as high blood pressure, muscle tension, joint pain, and gastrointestinal problems. It can also make any existing illnesses or ailments worse.
Cultivating emotional resilience
Instead of toughening up, cultivating resilience is what will ultimately lead to greater mental strength. The first step is to learn how to recognise your emotions, and observe them honestly and without any judgement. Even if it seems to be a negative state such as sadness or anxiety, sit with it and allow yourself to feel vulnerable for a few moments.
Once you become more attuned to your emotions, explore a way of safely expressing them rather than allowing them to build up inside. This could be through keeping a daily journal, mindfulness meditation, or simply through chatting them over with a close friend or family member.
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